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Credits
This Halloween poem was originally written for the children of Manorcroft Nursery in Egham but it works for primary school children too.

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It is best performed with a wand to point at your audience, a fancy notebook for a spell book, a cauldron, some props for the children to find and put into the cauldron (plastic spiders, jelly worms and pretend eyeballs) and a big bag of Halloween sweets to magically appear in the cauldron at the end by whatever method you can devise. However, with larger groups, you might want to get an imaginary cauldron bubbling at the beginning and alter the line "gather round" so you aren't stampeded. Rough stage directions etc are in italics.

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Please feel free to use this poem and tweak it for your own purposes - do drop me a note to let me know how you get on if you do. Happy Halloween!

Pip’s Problem

 

Witchettes! Wizardlings! Gather round.
Bring your hats and capes and gowns.
I need your help and I need it soon!
The boss has fallen off her broom.
I know – the Grand High Witch, no less,
the Queen of Fright and Spookiness.
The Witch Doctor said she needs her bed –
she took a big blow to the head.
She’s a bit confused, and – this is scary –
she thinks that she’s the Christmas Fairy!

 

Now, my name’s Pip – I’m her trainee
and when she’s ill, it’s down to me
to make sure everything goes smoothly,
that the brooms are stiff and the goo is oozy,
that the cauldron’s bubbling and the gobs are goblin,
but children – I’ve got a big, big problem.

 

Her Halloween spell isn’t spun
and it’s down to me to get it done.
If I can’t finish her hubble bubble
Halloween is in Big Trouble!

The ghosts won’t woooooh
and the bats won’t flutter,
the goo won’t ooze
and the lamps won’t gutter,
the ghouls and imps won’t misbehave
and the zombies won’t rise from the grave.

Children, to make sure it goes well
will you help me cast the Halloween spell?

Children answer yes

Fantastic! Now – let’s take a look
at the Grand High Witch’s big spell book.

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Open spell book and look confused

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Uh, pardon my French, but kitten-widdles,
the spell is written in blooming riddles.

Are you good at riddles?

Children answer yes

Yes? Great!

When I point my wand at you, shout your guess.
Together we’ll sort out this Halloween mess.

OK, here’s the riddle for the first ingredient:
 

They wriggle and tickle
and have eight legs
they chomp on flies
and they live on webs.

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What could they be?
Point wand at children – they shout SPIDERS!
Spiders! Of course. I usually keep my spiders in my... etc.
Add spiders to the cauldron

OK, second ingredient:

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They’re wiggly, wriggly,
pink and squiggly,
make some folk squirm
and some go giggly.

 

What could they be?
Point wand at children – they shout WORMS!
Worms! Of course. I think I’ve got one here... etc.
Add worms to the cauldron

 

Perfect! Ooh, it’s starting to smell good. Right, last ingredient:

 

We screw them up
when it is bright
and close them
when we sleep at night.

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What could they be?
Point wand at children - they shout EYES!
Of course! Eyes. Oh, I have a jar of eyeballs over here... etc.
Add eyeballs to cauldron


OK, that’s all the ingredients!
 

Witchettes, Wizardlings, you’ve done so well!
It’s time for us to cast our spell.
When I raise my wand above my head
shout “Halloween” to wake the dead.
(That means really loudly!)

I sometimes get them to do a practise shout here

 

Smickety, rickety, worms and eyes,
slime and scabs and spiders’ thighs,
calling all the ghouls and ghosties –
put down your knitting, finish your toasties,
and in the name of the Skeleton Queen,
all rise up for (raise wand) HALLOWEEN!*

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Do your cauldron magic in here if you are going to, otherwise crack on!

 

Witchettes, Wizardlings, you’ve saved the day!
The spooks and ghouls are on their way.
Can you feel the spirits in the air,
a cold hand on your shoulder there,
can you sense the sprite beneath your seat –
our spell has worked a trick or treat.
And oh my ghosts, what fun it’s been**
so thank you and Happy (raise wand) HALLOWEEN!
 

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*To get them all shouting nicely in time, point the wand on each syllable

**Be careful to pronounce 'been' to rhyme with 'halloween' and not with 'bin' :-)

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